The Unexpected Kindness of Strangers after Natasha's Death
Natasha flying with her best friend and dad to Nice in 2016.
This year I have struggled to reconcile the fact that my daughter Natasha died 10 years ago from a severe allergic reaction to sesame onboard a BA flight.
She, her dad and best friend were going on a short holiday to Nice. A week later, she was in a coffin in the hold of a BA plane being flown back home.
And yet I am reminded again and again that in those early moments of darkness and desperation, as I arrived in Nice just hours after Natasha had passed away, we were shown incredible gestures of such kindness and compassion, that they have hugged my heart ever since.
I arrived in Nice the following morning after Natasha had died. Her body had already been taken from the hospital to Nice’s city mortuary and we had to wait until it opened in the morning before we could go to see her.
Nice, France
As soon as we could, Nadim and I tried to find a taxi to take us to the mortuary which is located in the hills above Nice. We phoned taxi companies, no answer came so we went out into the street, but again, none could be found. We asked a lady passing by, where we could find a taxi to the mortuary. I will never forget the shock on her face as we explained why we wanted to go there. She told us that it was impossible to hire a taxi that day because it was a national day of mourning throughout France, due to the terrorist attack earlier that week when a truck had run over and killed hundreds of people on the Promenade des Anglais.
She explained that there were no trains or buses that went to the mortuary and that the only way to get there was by car. She then did an extraordinary thing. She put her hand into her handbag and drew out her car keys. She took my husband’s hand and pressed the keys into them telling him to take them and for us to use her car for as long and for as many days as we needed it. Because of this act of kindness, we were able to visit Natasha at the mortuary every day until we were able to bring her home a week later.
During that week in Nice, I remember how we waded through a swamp of French bureaucracy and red tape as we arranged to have Natasha flown back to the UK. Intermingled with our profound shock and grief, we experienced other incredible acts of kindness from total strangers, uninvited, and yet there they were, soothing balms to our visceral pain.
View from Nice, France
Cathedral candlelights
Grief stricken, we walked in a daze in the Nice streets. The heat from the sun had made me nauseas, so we took cover in Nice’s old cathedral where we quietly sat in the back pew. The last thing we wanted was to draw any attention to ourselves, so we were surprised when the priest walked over to us. He had noticed how sad we looked and came over to ask if he could help us in any way.
When he heard what had happened, he asked if we would allow him to mention Natasha in his next service which was about to start. When the service finished and as people began to leave their seats, they began to gather around us. One by one, complete strangers hugged us, tears springing from their eyes, talking to us with choked voices. I had no idea what most of them were saying but their kindness and compassion was tangible. We left the cathedral in tears but comforted by people we didn’t know, comforted when we least expected it.
During that week, good friends on holiday nearby, asked to come and see us that evening. Their daughter Sophia was one of Natasha’s best friends and she was in despair. That lunchtime as Nadim and I tried to eat a sandwich in a small local restaurant, the couple who ran it asked us if they could help us in any way as they had seen our swollen eyes from crying and felt our obvious grief. Upon hearing what had happened, they insisted on opening their restaurant doors for us and our friends only; no other dinner guests because they wanted us to have a ‘safe’ place where we would be able to talk and cry freely. That evening they cooked and served dinner just for us. Another act of unexpected kindness had come our way.
I am reminded again and again how being kind is a special intrinsic part of being human. It is the social glue that connects us, it is an act of love that we all need to survive. It can come our way when we least expect it and when it does, it's a very welcome friend.
Such moments remind me that kindness is one of the most precious parts of being human. It connects and comforts us, especially in our darkest moments, often arriving when we least expect it and leaving a mark that lasts a lifetime.
No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.
Tanya x